Walt's Beautiful Wife Heather's Words at Walt's Life Celebration

First off I want to talk about depression and settle some confusion that I know comes with death from anxiety and depression. I want to say that Walt was sick, this is an illness. I often said that it was like watching my husband die of a cancer that no one could find. He did everything right, ate healthy, exercised, sought help, and had supportive family and friends. The treatments were endless; medications, shock treatment, ketamine, magnetic stimulation. Then there were self-treatments; yoga, fasting (he once didn’t eat for ten days), meditations, retreats, natural remedies, and no medications. He went through so many tests; blood work, genetic testing, endoscopy, psychological, food allergy, each test came back normal. Nothing worked and with each treatment he became more desperate. In the end he was living for the people he loved. He never wanted to disappoint the people he truly cared for. A few days before he died he was sitting on the couch crying while petting our dog, he looked at me and said, “this house is so nice, the dogs are so good, and you’re so beautiful why can’t I get it together?” I didn’t know what to say, I cried with him. It was his compassion for others that kept him alive for so long through all his suffering. He really wanted it and we all really wanted it for him but it just wasn’t enough to overcome this illness.

Walt and I started dating in November 2012, the day after Thanksgiving. The six-hour date started at Coffee Underground and then we walked Falls Park. When I first saw him I was instantly attracted to him, he was handsome, like WOW, really handsome, REALLY handsome. As we walked he didn’t speak much but he was an amazing listener. It was his calmness, his way of thinking, his patience, and his discipline that amazed me. At the end of the date he walked me to my car but I had just moved to Greenville and didn’t really remember where I parked and I just bought that car so I really had trouble picking it out. That might have added some time to the date and he got a good laugh at my expense.

I remember the first day I met his brother Will. They were moving a piece of furniture into my apartment. I watched them as were able to lift the piece, carry it up a flight of stairs, and put it in the place without saying a word, like I said Walt wasn’t much of a talker. Later I mentioned it to Walt that it was neat to watch him and his brother communicate without speaking. Walt said that since they were rocking climbing partners they had built that bond. I felt that really spoke to the closeness he shared with his brother.

One of the many ways that Walt tried to help himself was yoga. In 2014 he became a certified yoga teacher. He absolutely loved training to be a yoga teacher, for the YTT people here he once told me that being with you made him so happy that he didn’t want to leave. He taught for a brief amount of time and was always complimented. One night while we were at an event a woman came up to him and told him that she attended one of his classes and was so relaxed afterward. She said that he really had a gift for providing calmness. It very ironic because he was living with such turmoil, he didn’t want others to feel what he felt, what we’re feeling now.

Walt and I were married for four years. We had some great adventures together. He was my rock climbing coach, encouraging me from the ground telling me which limb to stretch to which hold. He tried his hardest to get me to love the ocean as much as he loved the ocean but I always ended up pummeled into the sand, blind, with my glasses being swept out to sea. As my friends from all over met Walt, they all loved him. He would walk away and they would whisper to me, “oh my goodness, Heather, he’s so cute” or “he’s so nice” or “wow, what a really great guy.” They were right, he was.

Walt worked from home and he was great at his job. I loved to listen to him talk to his students, their parents, and the other teachers. When I worked nights and I had to sleep during the day I would intentionally leave the door open just to hear him talk, he was that patient and calming that the sound of his voice would help me sleep. Parents, by the way, you need to respect teachers a little more and show some interest in your kids schooling, not all teachers are going to be Walter Crooks.

Our last trip was just a few weeks ago to go backpacking at Rae Lakes, a 50 mile intense backpacking trip that climbed up to 12000 ft. Walt completed that trip despite intense pain, both mental and physical. I know that it was a gift to me, he didn’t want to let me down despite me offering so many alternatives. It showed how much compassion he had for the people he loved, most people wouldn’t complete that trip on the best of days. One of the members on the trip even commented, “Soft spoken, polite, a gentleman, and handsome. What a guy.” Walt, I love you, I’m not mad at you, and I wish you were here.

*We choose the quote from Thich Nhat Hanh that Walt used to end all of his yoga classes for his card.