My Words for My Gentle Son, Walt

“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”

~  Thich Nhat Hanh

Dear, kind, loving family and friends,

I know that your heart is breaking . . . (PAUSE)
Awe, we humans know so well the physical – our loved ones touch, their smell, their sight, their feel, their voice – but oh, we are much more than that dear friends. My wise loving Will has reminded us that we are the light we have shared that others chose to carry in them. They can become part of who we are. 
Walt’s life was a lesson of love that we need to carry on. In this way, we can move forward one of Walt’s great missions here, to help relieve suffering. Like other great spiritual leaders, but in his humble quiet fashion, Walt lit the path for us to help create a more compassionate, loving world, through his tireless loving examples of how to treat each met on your path. (Pause)

Again, Our Walt, gentle, kind, compassionate, intelligent, patient, humble is still here with us. Let’s take a moment to think back on a beautiful moment you shared . . .  PAUSE

See, yes, he is here. 

How blessed, how fortunate, how honored I am to have this teacher call me Mom. 

When I need inspiration, when I need questions answered, when I am in the darkness, Will reminds me that Walt is there. He is in each of us if we choose to keep his light alive. Oh folks, this can be a difficult task. There will be times you will have to fight for the light. Come the winds of doubt, of ego, of hate you will have to shield against. Come torrential rains of greed and want. Shield his flame for it is our way to move forward his mission of love, his mission to reduce suffering, his mission to move humanity forward.   
Walt’s light illuminates a path of love and compassion for others. His daily work is to reduce suffering

I would like to share a few of my countless examples of this beautiful soul.
Walt is my son, work buddy, fellow scholar, study buddy, co-presenter, and my best friend. I have yet to hear someone’s description of Walt not include gentle. Walt was born with this gentle spirit.
In 8th grade, his basketball team and fellow classmates called him the gentle giant. Even as a child, as we sat beside our neighborhood pond, birds, rabbits, squirrels would seem to come from nowhere and sit with us. I lovingly called him, St Francis. 

Walt is an old soul. I would bow and say smiling, “You are my teacher.” 

Again as Will reminds us, Walt lives in us. We honor him by living his lessons so patiently taught.  Never an unkind word from his lips for others, never. He sees the good in all he meets following is daily mantra to reduce suffering and bring others ease an ease not known to himself for he was a painbody.

As you now know, Walt lived with treatment resistant anxiety and depression for over 20 years. As we know this disease, for many, still has no cure. The past 10 years were very difficult for Walt but the last few years became well  . . .  (PAUSE)
But the thing is, most people had no idea of his bodily and mental pain. Walt with intention hid it well. 

His kind smile lights others darkness. Walt has a way of calming folks with his presence. For example, during state testing, which is ridiculously stressful, Walt was our site lead and his nick name was “the calmer” because he kept everyone at ease.
At work, Walt was the go-to man for any help, any time. You, friends, have shared countless stories with this similar theme:  No matter the question, no matter if he was swamped and exhausted, Walt would stop everything and take as much time as needed to create a solution for you. There was never a stupid question, there was never a feeling that anyone was troubling him at all because he genuinely was happy to help. 

Yes, Walt was born with a gentle spirit. I remember holding him in my arms, my beautiful baby, by sweet boy. 
Time to smile, a sort story, when I finally became pregnant and told Walt he said, well, I will take a baby brother but not a sister. Walt got his wish and my dream were fulfilled. My son would have a life-long companion. As you heard, my boys, Will and Walt are best friends. So much love, so much love.

My loving boys seemed to never tire of my presence. They have taken me caving, rock climbing, bouldering, boogie boarding, roller blading, hiking, mountain biking, lake swimming, paddle boarding . . .  They take me to lectures, concerts, movies, shared podcasts, poems and always, always gather around our table for our table with their loved one for our weekly Sunday dinner even bringing their beautiful friends to join us. What an honor. 

Now if you know me, I can be so embarrassing, my voice, my emotions, but my boys are always proud of me and always told me they loved me. Just recently on our drive to Columbia for our work meeting Walt after another night of no sleep allowed me to drive. When he woke, I told him that I made some peanut sandwiches and brought green apples. He looked me with such love and said, Mom you are the nicest person I have ever known. Of course I shook my head no, and he said no, really, you really are. There is no one like you, Mom. TEARS. Oh, my beautiful boy. What a gift. 

Will reminds me how lucky we are to have so many memories. Our lives forever entwined. 

Okay Walt is saying Mom, maybe share other stories at the reception. Awwe, his voice. I smile. Yes, but there is just so much, so I proceed as usual and Walt smiles lovingly as always.

I just have a few things to share that some may not know. Walt and I are part of the oldest Critical Thinking Tank in the World. Our beautiful administration supported our attendance. After attending our first conference years ago, I knew we had found Walt’s intellectual circle. You know his peeps. 

Walt and I presented at countless conferences with our developing theory of the pairing of Mindfulness and Critical Thinking. We also presented 3 lectures at ICOT 18. An international thinking community based out of Harvard. 

Walt and I have been participating in weekly Socratic discussions with a small group of CT Fellows developing our online Critical Thinking platform.  Walt was seen as one that would carry on the work one the Foundation when Linda Elder and Gerald Nosich passed. Linda enjoyed their deep discussions that were of course above my comprehension, but I was included in this elite group of thinkers. These were his people. The mission of the Foundation for Critical Thinking is to develop the intellectual traits in others through simple teaching strategies. Some of these traits include intellectual humility, intellectual empathy, confidence in reason and of course fair-mindedness. (Sound like someone you know?) SMILE

Most don’t know that Walt and I were to travel to Hong Kong to teach Critical Thinking on Saturday and a number of evenings for 9 weeks this fall. We were to teach middle- high school students, their parents, and also had appointments to share our Critical Thinking work with dignitaries from Hong Kong. In fact our material to share just arrived.  (PAUSE) With such political unrest, there is such a need for our enlightened mission.

Walt and I are a great team of presenters. I brought excitement and hugs and Walt brought calm and intelligence. I know it is time to stop, but a mama needs 2 more minutes of your time. 
At our first CT conference in Berkeley among educational dignitaries from 60 nations, the military, and countless professors, Dan Elsberg, who wrote the Pentagon Papers, was our keynote speaker. Dan said that he posed this question before every lecture. If you do not know, one of Elsbergs’ missions was to educate the world on the dangers of nuclear war. 

After asking his question only two hands in the auditorium were up, our CT Fellow Gerald Nosich and Walt’s. Dan chose the young handsome guy engaged and leaning forward. As Will would say, wait for it, wait for it, and then bam! Walt spewed out his response to this complicated question into words even I could digest. And when Walt finished, Dan smiled and said, Well, this is the first time anyone has been able to answer this question, and Walt you answered it in such detail, that I really have nothing else to add. Oh, a mother’s pride, tears flowing . . .
PAUSE 

So thank you for your ear, thank you for loving our beautiful Walt, please carry his light on your path for our world desperately needs Walt’s light. Know I love each of you and so does Walt, know that my Will and Walt have my back ALWAYS. I have Walt’s and Will’s strength coursing through my being, and I will protect his light with each heartbeat.